Vinson blot part 2: The moment I forgot how to tie a knot…

……imposter syndrome on steroids and meeting mountaineering greats.

Ok, let’s get this bit over and done with and talk about the moment I had a total brain fart. The moment I completely lost the plot. The moment I forgot how to tie a figure of 8 knot. Yup, seriously, I did. Something that is now so ingrained in my mountain muscle memory that I never even gave it a thought, until now. Ugh!

It was Christmas Day, we were at Low Camp and gearing up ready for our push on up to High Camp, a 1000 vertical meters higher. We had to rope up as the terrain was still crevassed and were chatting to guides Rob, Darren and Anders as we got ourselves ready. I was stood on the edge of the group and Rolfe lobbed me the end of the rope to tie in.

Now, I’ve done this a gazillion times over the last 12 years, so why oh why did my brain decide NOW was a good time to take a holiday?! I kept trying to tie the knot, it’s not difficult, very simple even, one I know how to tie with my eyes shut and I think I was doing it correctly but then kept doubting myself. Have you ever had that feeling, when you seem to be doing something rather idiotic, that the world is a magnifying glass and everyone seems to be looking at you? Well, that was me at that point. ‘Right, I’ve forgotten how to tie the blooming knot’ I said out loud. The chaps just looked at me and Rob very kindly replied ‘You’ve taught it so many times sometimes the teacher has to be the student. Don’t worry, we all forget’ (He’s such a gent!). I lobbed the rope back to Rolfe and said ‘please help?’ He just looked at me, I knew he would have words later!

Up at High Camp and over a cuppa he piped up ‘What on earth was that all about? I can’t believe you fessed up to it. No-one was watching’ ‘Yup they were’ I replied. ‘A bit of humility goes a long way when you know you are being a plum’ and we moved on.

I’m off to the Pyrenees in a month’s time to assist Rolfe on an expedition skills course with 360 (Expeditions) and I’m sure that story will be told once again. My reply….I’m only human.

So, this brings me nicely onto the imposter syndrome and mountaineering greats bit of the title. Let me explain by taking you back 6 months.

‘Flubalubalub’ were the words that seemed to be coming out of my mouth as I met Mark Beaumont back in the summer. I was working with great friend and mentor Dave Stewart for his company Fresh Air Leadership Company. We were working with a fabulous corporate for the 2nd year and Mark had been booked for a talk and dinner. I’ve been a long-time fan of Mark’s and it was whilst reading his book ‘The Man Who Cycled the Americas’ back around 2010 that I read his account of climbing Denali and it was that book that sowed the seed for trying something really hard. I never thought I would be skilled or capable enough, mentally or physically, but in June 2017 I stood on top of the highest point in North America. Denali was amazing, just as amazing as he had written in that book.

‘Flubalubalub’ I continued. Mark just looked at me. I mentioned Denali and the book, talked way too much at him whilst he was trying to prep for the talk, realised what a tool I was being so left him alone. We’re working together again this summer with Dave for the same corporate. I’m hoping to have a more cohesive conversation this time round!

The same happened when I arrived at Union Glacier. We had arrived very early in the morning so had crept into my pit at 3am, up at 8 and then to breakfast. The people I knew already were not around, so I sat on my own at one of the long tables. A guide came and sat down opposite me and said hello. Jangbu Sherpa. All round great chap and uber experienced mountaineer. Ben Jones came and sat next to him, an equally amazing guide and mountaineer and all-round great chap too.

‘Hi Ben, my name is Jo. I stalk you on Facebook’ ‘Oh great’ he replied and went off to get a coffee. Good God Jo, what is wrong with you?!

And so it continued. Antarctica is a very unique environment guide wise. ALE employ the best of the best for each season on the ice and these guides and staff are then joined by more guides from other expedition companies. The likes of whom I don’t usually get to chat to on a regular basis. We may cross paths in various countries but I’d now have a whole 8 days on Vinson with Ben, Jangbu Sherpa, Garrett Madison, Mike Roberts, Ossy Freire and was soon to meet Rob Anderson and Anders Swensson who were also guiding for ALE and therefore Rolfe, myself and Luke would be sharing our mess tent with these 2 greats and their Chinese team.

More greats were to be met at Vinson Base Camp. Lakpa Rita Sherpa (Sherpa), JB (Sherpa), Darren McAulay (a Brit and who I had already hung out with in Punta along with polar guide and all round uber woman Denise Martin, she was on her way to the South Pole whilst we were up the mountain), Larry, Wes and Todd (all Americans), and all of them with so much experience under their fingernails that I knew I’d continue to make extreme gaffs because I was in full on gaff mode!

These guys and gals have scores of first ascents, solo climbs and new routes to their names, they've climbed the 7 summits tens of times and more and are very quiet about it. To them, the mountains are their life and not something to tag, brag and move on. They climb and ski and traverse and explore because they are passionate about it rather than to boast about it.

Rolfe had already mentioned that I was joining him as a client on this expedition but when they asked what I did other than work for 360 I felt hugely inadequate. I know, there will be a few shouting at the screen right now! It’s all relative and I’ve worked so hard over the last 10 years of being freelance to hone my skills and be a good leader, safe in the mountains and encouraging to all of my clients, from 14 up to 80 years old whether here in the UK or up a 6000er abroad. Being with these guys felt like having Imposter Syndrome on steroids.

However, I was soaking up the environment, listening to their stories, adding in snippets when I felt something stupid wasn’t going to tumble out of my mouth, help out as much as I could and generally got stuck in.

I was sat in the mess tent with the best of the best. Climbing on the same lines as guides who I’ve admired for years and at the end, talking politics over a cuppa with the greats of our industry. Bar reaching the summit of Vinson and simply being in Antarctica, this was most definitely the best part of the expedition. These chaps and chapettes were awe inspiring.

Back at Union Glacier and it just didn’t stop. I sat after dinner chatting with the amazing Scott Woolums, Conrad Anker hopped off the 4 x 4 that I was just about to get on when we left (I nearly passed out!), I had a proper good natter with Garrett for a change rather than just saying hi in passing and trekking on. I asked lots of questions and listened intently. A discussion about high altitude boots was had with a French guide who, as a team of 3, had just skied from Union Glacier to Vinson Base Camp (just the 90 miles) climbing a few previously unclimbed peaks on the way then they summited Vinson from Low Camp and made it back in 18 hours. We shared the mountain with them and everyone was just so engaging. No egos, just great banter. These are the Gods of the climbing world. I was sat there, before breakfast on my final day in Antarctica, sharing coffee with this amazing French dude along with Rob, Anders, Mike, Ben and Garrett. Ooph!

A highlight too was meeting long time ALE medic and industry great, Doc Martin. A fabulous mutual friend of ours had urged me to say hello to him. After dinner at Union Glacier at the end of the expedition I spotted him so went up to say hi. ‘Sorry for interrupting but are you Doc Martin?’ ‘Indeed, the very one’ he said. ‘We have a mutual friend’ I replied, ‘Sarah Sterling and I have a hug to deliver to you!’ ‘Nooooooooo, can you stand over there and I’ll take a running leap at you’ he said enthusiastically. ‘Here is just fine’ I quipped. (when mentioning this to Sarah she said ‘told you – like an over enthusiastic Springer!) We sat having a great chat for an oh too short 10 minutes in his medics portacabin. It’s quite a set up there. They have to be ready for anything from a splinter to broken bones, frost bite to plane crashes. They have to be ready for anything.

‘What about the female guides’ I hear you shout! Well yes, there were female guides too. Rolfe raved about all of the guides and staff but I just happened to be on the mountain when an all-male contingent was on rota. I could go on about the people out there but I won’t bore you. It’s an inspiring place, Antarctica.

The talent within the ALE staff as a whole, not just within the guide team, is insane. I met two amazing ladies, both with PHD’s, who were in hotel services part of the organisation (they cleaned the clam shell tents in between clients and also the toilets, amongst other duties) but wanted to work the season in Antarctica so were here, in this incredible environment, making my experience all the easier.

I’d love to do a season or two in Antarctica but will never be tough enough or have the relevant experienced to join the guide team. On returning to Chile, Nelson said ‘please apply for a job with us’ so maybe I’ll see what they will give me. If you don’t try you’ll never know!

I can’t thank Antarctic Logistics & Expeditions enough for their support during this one hell of an expedition, from everyone behind the scenes in the offices, dealing with grumpy clients in Chile and to the team on the ice. They were all absolutely brilliant!

Hopefully I won’t have any more flubalubalub moments in the foreseeable future! I’ll probably see Garrett and Scott in Nepal when I’m out there leading a group of clients to Everest Base Camp and then climbing Island Peak for 360 Expeditions (spaces still available!), as well as Lakpa Rita Sherpa, Jangbu and Ben too and hope to meet up with Rob and Anders again in the very near future.

Rolfe is in his element out in Antarctica. I can absolutely understand why.

Next up – pee in this, poop in that and eat as much as you can!

Climbing the 7 summits and proudly supporting children's mental health charity Place2Be because mental health matters 💚 1 summit remaining!
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/JosMighty90

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