Dear younger Jo. It’s ok to simply sit and be still.

A few years ago I was asked to present the end of year prizes at Chafyn Grove School and give a speech before hand. When I asked the Headmaster for a brief he said ‘you have 5 minutes to wow us!’

That was quite the brief and not a lot of time to make an impact however, as you may know, I do love a challenge so I mulled it over for a while. The night before the event I wondered what my younger self would like to hear and I started writing the letter below.

I’m pleased to say that it went down rather well and I have often used this letter since when speaking to both students and adults. Reflection and perspective are most definitely skills worth honing, whatever your age.

I hope you gain something out of my scribblings….

Dearest younger Jo,

Life, as the old saying goes, is like a box of chocolates. Some chocolates you want to savour and wish you could eat more often, some you are a little ‘mehhhh’ about, easy come easy go, and some you just don’t like the taste of at all and never want to experience again. In order to know which chocolate you like, you need to experience some that you don’t.

I know that you think you have your life all mapped out. Horses, a husband, 2.4 children, dogs, chickens, donkeys, a farm and a life in the outdoors. It really does sound fantastic and some of your plans will be the first part of your life after school but please don’t be disappointed or think that you are a failure if life takes you on different path, as the path you eventually discover will lead you to an even more fulfilling life than the one you have planned.

You have already been through some tough times at school and will go through some more, but take a deep breath and weather the storm, I promise there are calmer waters ahead. If only genetics would have given you smaller calves and longer legs but some things you just can’t change and later in life you will be grateful for your strong genes and sturdy pins as they will take you up to great heights and off to distant places.

Do remember that it’s not what happens in your life, good or bad, that makes you the person you are but what counts is how you choose to deal with it. I encourage you to be the more gracious person as actions speak louder than words. Be victorious in life and not a victim of your past, for those calling you names have insecurities all of their own, it just seems unfair that they take it out on you. Trust me, this will make you a stronger, more resilient and more understanding person, but I know that it’s just hard to go through right now.

Your life will take many twists and turns. Embrace them rather than running away. Step out of your comfort zone often by saying yes more, as you never know you may find exciting opportunities in life which you never knew were there.

I know that at the moment, if your school year were to write a list of those least likely to climb any mountain you wouldn’t even feature, but rest assured, your life will take a whole different route to a future more exciting than anyone could have imagined. If I told you now, in your younger years, that 40 or so years later you would be standing on top of the highest mountain on this planet having survived an earthquake just 12 months before, I know that you would say ‘not me! I would never be capable of that!’ and then you would run in the other direction as fast as those sturdy pins could take you! Climbing Everest is not for everyone, but everyone has their own Everest to climb.

It’s hard being a youngster, all those hormones flying around, too much school work and big expectations on your tender shoulders but take this time to just sit and be still. Find a happy place and make it your own, cuddle a dog, give a friend a hug, tell your parents that you love them and know that asking for help is a strength and not a weakness.

Life is yours for the taking and the only failure in life is the failure to try. Do not judge yourself against others as life is not a competition and do not judge others as you do not know their full story. Always listen with the intent to understand, rather than the intent to reply and have an opinion on what you know is the truth rather than judging what you see.

Keep being bold, brave, strong and curious and always be kind. You cannot be the best at everything, I just ask you to simply give everything your best.

With love and hugs, older Jo xx